Ups and downs

Tuesday the 8th of January came and the Judge gave his decision. He was very compassionate and kind towards both of us in his delivery. The application made by Sean’s grandmother was dismissed. This meant that she was not entitled to have any access to the child. She was stunned. The Solicitors were stunned. My family and friends were stunned. Everybody expected her to gain some sort of access, especially since I hadn’t allowed her to be cross-examined. When the decision was given I was not triumphant. I left the court and Stephen and I prayed for her in the car on the way home. I waited for the four weeks to pass so I could go to see her and make the offer.

A week and a half later I got another letter from my Solicitor. Sean’s grandmother was appealing the decision. We were going back to court. This added another dimension to the whole picture. My heart sank. There was no question of me backing out of my promise to God, and it really didn’t bother me that she might think she had me on the run, so to speak. What did worry me however, was the fact that she might refuse my offer, go to court and use my offer as a tool to get to see Sean. However I had made the promise to God and was not going back on it. To tell you the truth, the hardest part of it all was telling my family. I guess some of them were perplexed, some accepted it and a couple of them were totally against it, telling me that I was making a big mistake. I could hardly blame them. They knew in detail what had happened between Sean’s grandmother and me, and thought the whole thing unjust.